It's been three MONTHS since I last blogged. Welp, so much for writing once a week! Does it count that I at least thought about writing each week? :)
Life has been a total blur as I've continued to settle in my new job, soak in the joys and disappointments of adult life, move into a beautiful little townhouse with my friend Shelly, and learn many valuable lessons.
Work just gets better each day I come and get more familiar and confident with my surroundings and tasks. I'm finding ways to make my job more efficient and meaningful, and I'm learning SO much from my leaders and coworkers. This job gives me a completely different perspective on Disney's Agricultural Sciences internship program - there is a LOT that goes on behind-the-scenes that interns don't know about to ensure they have a good experience. I'm humbled and grateful to have been given this new way of looking at the program. And BOY am I grateful for my internship experience and degree! It has made learning my job SO much easier.
As for being an adult, there are great things as well as moments when I wish I could be a carefree kid again.
THE GOOD:
#1 - I LOVE being independent. The feeling of providing for yourself is so satisfying and makes all the years of preparation for this moment worth it.
#2 - It's exciting to move on and be a grownup! New stories to tell, different mindsets that inspire you to create new goals...
#3 - This new chapter of my life provides me with the opportunity to stop and turn over a new leaf. A BIG new leaf.
Speaking of leaves, here's a commercial-break story for you to enjoy between the good and bad of being an adult:
My friend Jon sent me this beautiful leaf, hand-carved from a coconut shell that led to a great conversation about the symbolism behind leaves. He talked about how it inspired him to create new ideas and goals/ambitions. I added to that idea with a thought I'd always had about leaves: for me, leaves represent fresh starts. We can mess up, have our leaves fall off in the cold weather, but new leaves always come. Thank heavens for our Savior, Jesus Christ who is our never-ending supply of living water that keeps our spiritual trees alive.
Anyways, back to adult life:
THE NOT-SO-GOOD
#1 - Bills. Need I say more?
#2 - Responsibilities don't go away.
#3 - There have been moments when I wish I could be a carefree college kid that wasn't sure what to do with my future. I think about my time spent as an intern in Orlando, and the experience is much more different this time around. It's not as... kid-like, I guess. There's good and bad to that.
But to add to the good for adult life, I LOVE MY NEW PLACE! It's so perfect for me and Shelly. We were so fortunate to have my parents offer to rent the third bedroom in the house to lower rent costs, and the location is more than convenient for work and shopping. A townhouse feels so much more like a home than does an apartment. And it's great to see my parents on a pretty regular basis. I missed them a lot when I was in college.
Overall, I'm (still) learning to trust in the Lord, deal with anxiety in healthy ways, and let go of being in control. I caught myself a few weeks ago in a situation that made me realize I'd been slipping back into old habits: not saying "no," trying to save people from their woes of life, over thinking things, etc. But thank HEAVENS for the silver lining of the hard things we have to experience. These moments force us to stop and change our perspective back to where it should be. They encourage us to turn to the Lord for redirection, and boy does He love to do that. I'm grateful for good friends to talk to that can be instruments in the Lord's hand to help me see the perspective He wants me to have and come to realize the hard things I have to do in order to come closer to Him. They're worth it, by the way.
The more I experience in life, the more I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ is not only true but ever present in the world. As hard as it may seem to find it, God is in the details of your life. His love is expressed in so many ways, from the intricate designs of a leaf to the great sacrifice of His Son. Christ's Atonement does more for me than I think I realize, and I am so grateful that He still offers His support, love, and resources when I'm not the perfect saint He hopes I will become. I'm getting closer to that goal each day, but if it weren't for His forgiveness and support, I'd be toast.
