This One's For You, Katie

I was sitting in church today, and my friend Katie leans over to whisper to me, "Hey, have you written in your blog recently?"  Yeesh.  No.  It's been 9 MONTHS.  Didn't I have some goal I posted about writing every week?

Now, granted, I do have a few drafts that would be awkward to post now since they are SO yesterday's news, but ain't nothin' gonna come from half-written blog posts

So, here's to you, Katie Reynolds.  Thanks, for reminding me to write!  :)

Let me tell you a story.  A story about my pet hamster, Stuart.

Little Stu is a total cutie.  I got him in an impulsive moment of grieving after losing my beloved betta fish, Jorge.  I mean, come on!  The hamster cage was on sale and he was too.  I couldn't refuse.  When the Pet Supermarket associate raised the little hammy igloo, little fur balls sprawled across the cage, except for one little dude who must have been in some serious REM sleep, because he was all sorts groggy.  He had the "old-man-ruffled-hair-Monday-morning" look as he squinted his eyes and attempted to figure out whether he was still dreaming.

THAT ONE.

The one in the middle?  The one that's not moving from his spot?

Yeah.  I stared at him with the creepy 7-year-old child within me.

I thought to myself, he's gonna be SO chill and awesome.  I'll cuddle with him, ... and hug him and squeeze him, and love him! (Anyone?  Anyone?  Remember that cartoon?).  Oh, how very wrong I was.  The lady reached in, and he was GONE.  It took her a good few minutes until she asked, "are you sure it has to be that one?"

Yes.  I was no longer in love.  I was determined.  He was going to be my hammy, and he was gonna  LIKE it.

Shelly and I drove home with the little cardboard house holding Stuart in my lap.  Every once in a while, his pink nose would poke out of a hole, but most of the time, you just heard frantic scratching.  I forced a smile, thinking the whole while, he'll calm down and warm up to me.

Stuart and my relationship wasn't what I planned for.  Playtime for me was torture for him.  This GIANT hand reaching in for him meant war.  I'd leave my hand in the cage, rub my hands in his bedding to "become one with the hammy," and talk to him.  He'd slowly come up, sniff my finger, bite me and run away.  I'm talking Mexican jumping bean (name credit to Shelly.  Holla!).

I looked up every hammy whisperer website, tried every recommendation but no success.  It was a frustrating-for-me, traumatic-for-him type of experience.  I got this close to driving to the nearby nature park and letting him be free in nature (we won't mention whose dinner he would be that night).

But then redemption came.  From a toilet paper roll.

I had just finished a roll of toilet paper (you know we all come to that moment every so often), and I thought, hmm.  Maybe Stuart would like this.

I laid the peace offering in the middle of his cage.  Mr. Grumpy Pants stuck his head out of his nest and noticed this new contraption.  It didn't take long before he was in LOVE with a toilet paper roll.  He sniffed it, touched it with his little paw, and then slowly proceeded to climb into it.  And the rest is history.  He loved it!

And you know what's even better?  This toilet paper roll was the golden solution to playtime.  Stuart would make his way into the roll when I opened his gate, and I would pick the roll up and rest it on my leg.  Stuart would slowly poke his head out, a look of amazement (I do know hammy facial expressions) on his face, and then he'd realize it wasn't so bad after all to play with Val Pal.

Yes, we still have our ups and downs.  The relationship can sometimes be strained when he's in a bad mood, but it hasn't gotten to the point where we need counseling of any sort.  We're making progress and starting to trust each other more.

I love my little Texas Roadhouse mustached hammy.

COMING NEXT: how does a toilet paper roll with a hammy relate to a profound life lesson?  Those of you who were in Relief Society when I taught a few weeks ago, your lips are sealed.

I should have named him Waldo.

I'll miss you, Ketzio.

I came home from work to find out that my 12-year-old "puppy" Rocket was put down this morning.  I was so shocked because my plan was to go home tomorrow to spend the weekend with him before he passed away.  My heart aches, and I wish so badly that I could have hugged him one more time.

Rocky, I miss you.

You have been such a good, loyal friend and family member.  It's going to be hard to come home and not see you anymore.  The next little while is going to be really difficult when I find a tuft of hair under the couch or a cookie crumb that you missed.

I can't help but think of all the memories you made with us over the (almost) 13 years of your life.  And when I say "us" I mean more than just my family.  There were so many other friends and neighbors that loved you. You were a celebrity.

Things I will always remember about you:

- When we found you at the pound, you were the runt of your litter, but you were SO cute and friendly.  Within minutes, we knew you were "the one" we would take home.  Mom dubbed you "Rocket" because you ran so fast!  My sisters and I wanted to call you Falcor or Atrayu, but Mom wouldn't let us.

 

- We all almost went nuts those first few months when you would cry and cry in the laundry room at night, but I would sneak in there in the middle of the night and play with you.  I remember wanting to just sleep in there with you!

- You ate a boogie board.  A BOOGIE BOARD!  Over 10 years later, now it's kind of funny.  :)

- We used to have a large kennel cage for you for bedtime and when we weren't home.  Even after we got rid of it, we would still get a kick out of yelling out "KENNEL Rocket!" and having you run back to the same spot where it used to be.

- You were such a little piggy.  You would eat almost anything we gave you.  You saved me a few times at the dinner table.  Thank you for being such a quick eater under when I needed you.

- One of my most favorite memories is when we had the brilliant idea of decorating our Christmas tree with a bunch of little gingerbread men tied on with ribbon.  There was no way we could punish you when we found the tree toppled over and nothing left but tons of ribbon.  No gingerbread could be found.

- I loved when you would come into by bedroom and nuzzle your nose in my bed to wake me up because you wanted to play.  Or pee.

- When I would come home after being gone for awhile (school, internships...), you would sneak into my bedroom at night to sleep with me.

- There were times when you knew something was wrong, and you would come sniff me and look at me with big, concerned eyes.  I remember burying my face in your neck and just crying.

- You were terrified of our hamsters!  Oh, that was funny how big your eyes got when we would try and let them climb on Mt. Rocket.

Things I will miss about you 

- How excited you were when anyone came home.  You made me feel loved and important.

- Sticking peanut butter on the roof of your mouth and watching you lick and lick and lick... and lick.

- Seeing your face stuck in a carton of ice cream.

- Dressing you up in every possible thing we could put on your head.

 

- Having my buddy that I would take with me to the dock by the river to watch the sun set.

- Seeing how much you loved certain toys.  You LOVED that squirrel, and your beloved bird that Lauren dubbed Petunia.

- Watching you "patrol" the pool when people were swimming.

- How you were always the center of attention when we had friends over.

- How cute you looked when we would pop your ears up.

- Listening to you snore behind the couch.  Or barking quietly in your sleep.  That was funny.

- That one time when I cleaned the sliding windows really well, and 5 minutes later I hear "BANG!" and you wobbled out of the living room after running into the window you didn't think was there.

- I'm laughing right now thinking about how serious you were about chomping down on flies around your face.

- Your funny faces

- Your ticklish feet.

- Your stinky breath.

- Your cow moan.

- Your wagging tail hitting the wood floor when I'd walk by you.

- The trails of drool.

- All your cool tricks.

- The never ending supply of shedding hair!

- Chasing you around the house.

- The way you'd stick your butt in the air with your front paws on the ground when you wanted to play.

- Your beautiful golden eyes.

- The "masculine" heavy black lining around your eyes.

- The feel of the soft fur on your chest.

- How your paws smelled like Fritos.

- Your smile.  Even if it was smelly.

- Your patience.

- Your forgiveness when I would take things out on you.

- Your full devotion to our family.

I will never forget you.  You are the pet I grew up with that I will tell my children about.  I'll tell them how you were such a ham.  I'll tell them that you were one of my best friends.

I love you.  I miss you.

A year away from a quarter of a century

This year's birthday, I felt like an adult.  No, this is not an I'm-such-an-old-fart blog post, but rather a monumental occasion.  It's surreal how much I can sit back a watch my life transfer from being a college kid to a real-life adult.  Not much more on that one since I think there's some blog post dedicated to me growing up somewhere in the past.  :)

Anywho, life has been on the uphill!  I went through a rough patch for a while with my health, and it took a toll on not just my body, but my heart and spirit as well.  Pain and uncertainty can suck the life out of you.  I felt like I was losing myself for a long time, but the good news is that I'm coming back and feeling much better.  Lessons learned you ask?  Oh, twist my arm.

#1: Just keep going.
No matter how hard life can get, just keep going.  It's only when you give up that you are defeated.

#2: It's OK to not be OK.
You don't have to be 100% all the time.  Give yourself the benefit of the doubt and some time to take care of YOU.

#3: Choose to be optimistic.
Over-analyzing and thinking of the worst-case scenarios will only take years off your life.

#4: Listen to your heart.
I read The Alchemist, and it CHANGED MY LIFE.  I'm going to have to read it a few more times to get it all, but one of the lessons I learned is to stop everything (including your racing mind) and listen to your heart.

Often times, when I go to sleep my heart is pounding, and I couldn't figure out why.  Well, it's because my mind and body were turning in for the night, and my heart finally could have a say, and it was screaming!  Funny as it sounds, I started having conversations with my heart that went something like this:

Me: Hey heart.  I'm listening now.  What's going on?
Brain: Dude, it's just ___ and ___.  Tell him to go to bed.
Me: Brain.  Shut. UP.
Heart: (Screaming) Hellooooo! Can you hear me?!
Me: Hello.
Heart: So you're going to listen?
Brain: I'm telling you he's just-
Me: BRAIN, I'm talking to heart.  Go to bed.  Go ahead heart.  Tell me why you are pounding.
Heart:  Sheesh.  Finally.  I'm concerned about ____ and I want you to _____ and I'm scared about ____ and I feel like ____.

It just kept going and going with all sorts of concerns and wishful thinking.  I listened.

Me: OK.  I totally see and understand all that you are saying  But let's be real.  Bedtime surely isn't the best time to chat about these things let alone yell them at me.  So how about we make a deal:  I'll listen more, and you'll let me sleep.
Heart: You promise?
Me: Cross my heart.
Heart: Just don't hope to die.

Bring it on, 2013.

Happy New Year, y'all!

I was a party pooper this year and rang in the New Year fast asleep.  After working a full day up at the tour desk at Epcot, I was super tired and not eager to stay up until midnight since work awaited me the next morning.  However, my roommate Shelly and I had a lovely evening with PJ's, nachos, popcorn, tea, Martinelli's, and a movie.

Since it was the first Sunday of the month at church, people in my congregation had the opportunity to bear their testimonies if they so desired.  It was a great meeting full of thoughts on new beginnings and renewing or creating new goals.

I LOVE this time of year.  It feels like a breath of fresh air, or my favorite analogy of new leaves.  You know that feeling when you feel so renewed, and the air around you just smells of new beginning?  I love it.  I love the way it makes me feel hopeful and eager for the day to present its offerings to me.  The feeling doesn't come every day, but when it does, I soak it in and breathe deeply.

It's incredible to stop and look back on 2012: the good, the bad, and the ugly of it.  There are things that I'm still working on, other challenges I've conquered, and an opportunity to take the unfinished business on to 2013.

Ready?  Set... GO change the world.  :)