Infinite Synergy

I have 32 days left of my life as a college undergrad.  


Because the clock is ticking louder than ever, it's been difficult to remain calm and trust in God's plan for me.  I've been getting in touch with company contacts and applying for jobs left and right, but there is no solid direction for where I will be after graduation. 


At the beginning of the semester, I gave myself a deadline of July 20 (graduation day) to have a job lined up.  I was determined that this would happen so I wouldn't be another kid who graduates from college and lives at home.  Well, there's one little detail in this thing they call life that I forgot about: my Heavenly Father is in control, and I have to trust in His timing and where He wants me to be.  


If you don't know already, I am slightly ... OK ...very controlling of my life (or so I like to think).  I like to make lists, plan out every minute and know what tomorrow brings.  My focus all semester is doing what I can do to get a job, and I've forgotten to keep Heavenly Father in the picture.  


My current evening read is "Eat, Pray, Love," and I am finding so much of myself in this book that it's scary!  Here's an excerpt I read last night that literally punched me into my pillow and left me stunned.  


Elizabeth is in India at an Ashram (meditation temple?) where she's trying to master meditation.  She can't seem to gain control of her mind, and this is what her friend Richard has to say:

At some point, as Richard keeps telling me, you gotta let go and sit still and allow contentment to come to you. 

Letting go, of course, is a scary enterprise for those of us who believe that the world revolves only because it has a handle on the top of it which we personally turn, and that if we were to drop this handle for even a moment, well – that would be the end of the universe. But try dropping it….Sit quietly for now and cease your relentless participation. Watch what happens. The birds do not crash dead out of the sky in mid-flight, after all. The trees do not wither and die, the rivers do not run red with blood. Life continues to go on…. Why are you so sure that your micromanagement of every moment in this whole world is so essential? Why don’t you let it be? 

I hear this argument and it appeals to me.  I believe in it, intellectually, I really do.  But then I wonder--with all my restless yearning, with all my hyped-up fervor and this stupidly hungry nature of mine--what should I do with my energy instead?  
That answer arrives, too:

Look for God, suggests my Guru.  Look for God like a man with his head on fire looks for water.

That is EXACTLY what I needed to read.  This entire time that I've been trying to control my life, my energy has been going towards something that will not ultimately help me achieve my goals.  I made a commitment last night to take all my anxious, controlling energy and give it to God instead.

To add to my wonderful epiphany, I spent the evening talking to one of my best friends about this idea of controlling our own lives vs. letting God take control. 

Favorite insight of the night: Instead of carrying all the burdens on your shoulders of what you should be doing, share that load with Christ.  He's waiting for you to turn to Him anyway, because He's already paid the price to be by our side.  It's up to us to use the resource.  Rather than asking myself, "What am I going to do about..." I'll ask "What are WE going to do about..."

I like to call this partnership infinite synergy.  My 1 + His infinite power = INFINITY.  Pretty good deal on my side.  :)